I hate all girls vehemently.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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