I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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