I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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