Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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