i jhust puked up my retainher.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
