The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
