she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
