he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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