I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
