I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
