It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
