Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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