I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
