you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you traded sex for a burrito?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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