Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
