Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
