To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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