Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize