No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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