I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
