How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP