Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least