two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.