I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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