chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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