Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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