It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
