should my penis look like a turkey
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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