In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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