I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
