Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
