I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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