She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
