so that wasnt chicken after all
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
