I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
