I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
