I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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