i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
