Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
