Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
