I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
