he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
What happened to fro yo and sex?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
