you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
