haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
