C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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