Just mADE A PArabola og urine
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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