you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I have already put on my inside pants.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
