I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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