This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
