Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
