you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
May the power of my ass compel you!!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
