I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
