this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
