I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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