id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Green mimosas i think yes
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
