I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
