why didn't you poke me back
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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