I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
