I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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