Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
