dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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