idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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