are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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